Self and Absence (2016-2019)

The text of myself has not recently been in the mode of writing.

It has more recently been sleeping, waking up and living some line of existence that connects these two moments without interruption.

The text of myself has been rewriting itself in the spaces between the paragraphs.

It has been, in this sense, purely para-graphic.

Recently, the text of myself has not written anything like the old excitements.

It is my hope that it is, in this disappearance, preparing new writing, a new version of the “articulate”.

The old text of myself, which was never fully written, became unbearable.

It became unwritable.

 

I am only what I can do.

What I have done is not me if I cannot mean its extensions.

This means I sometimes break away from the possibility of myself as I would conceive it through a work if, at the same time, that work happens to break down.

When I cannot work, I cannot conceive myself. I am lost.

Recently, I have been broken. I have done almost nothing and there has been almost nothing there to be done. I have been gone.

My work, – insofar as it is the reflection of what I can do, and insamuch as it is that in which I can reflect on what I do – it is who I want to be.

To be able to work is to be able to see the future as my will.

And not working would be my death as the present.

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